Orchestration
by Forbiddensoul562
Summary: Nineteen years ago, a deal was forged between two families. An arranged marriage that would bring two police districts into a partnership. The time has now come for the marriage to take place. But after finding out his new wife, Near, is in fact male, Mello finds himself forced to keep this secret hidden from the outside world. Victorian era AU. MelloxNear
1. Binding Ties

Orchestration

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor do I own any of the characters used in this story.

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Chapter 1: Binding Ties

Orchestrate: ( _verb_ ) To arrange or direct the elements of (a situation) to produce a desired effect, especially surreptitiously.

If there was one thing Light could be sure about, with this job, it was that the paperwork would never end… No matter how much time he spent on it there was still more stacked ready to take its place before the judgment of his pen. It couldn't be helped, though. For every criminal the extensive police force working beneath him put behind bars, there was always another that got away. There was always one left on the run. It was utterly loathsome, the very thought causing him to force his pen harder into the paper he scratched away at.

There weren't nearly enough hours in the day for one in his position… How could he possibly hope to keep the half of London within his jurisdiction safe when criminals were allowed to escape so easily?

There came a gentle rap against the office door. His eyes lifted momentarily up from the paper that had been bearing the brunt of his frustration as it was pushed open, revealing one of the female servants of the house. She came to stand just inside the doorway, her hands wringing together nervously. "Sir, there's someone here to meet with you."

Light's brow furrowed together, "There's no one on my agenda today." He'd made perfectly certain of that. After all, he needed all the time in the world to get through all of this work. Or in the very least, one extra afternoon.

Still, the woman remained standing in place, mentally sorting over her words before finally saying, "He... said you might say that, sir." He watched the curious way her eyes darted away from him nervously. "He wanted me to say that he _insists_ on meeting."

Light's eyes narrowed, "Who is it?"

"District Director L Lawliet."

The mere mention of that name made Light put his pen down and lean back in his chair, his fingers steeping together against his lips. What could _he_ possibly want? L… The very origin of Light's every frustration and the absolute _last_ person he wanted in his home. "Send him in." Still, it seemed in poor taste to turn him away without first hearing his reason for showing up unannounced.

She nodded and exited the room, the door remaining partially ajar for only a moment before it was pushed further open, revealing the familiar tall, lanky man with the wiry hair as dark as the circles under his eyes; his curved, awkward stance seemed to demonstrate just how out of place he felt in a proper suit and tie.

Coal black eyes found Light's immediately, the momentary spark of electricity between them lit the room with all the animosity otherwise kept dormant by proper social conventions. "L." He greeted politely, offering as warm a smile he could muster as he stood from the desk.

"Light." L greeted, his gaze moving away from the other district director to instead peer around the room to all the books kept neatly on the shelves built into the wall. "I apologize for dropping in so suddenly. I see you're quite busy."

Light would've gnashed his teeth if he wasn't so accustomed to putting up a good front for others, "It's no trouble. I imagine it must be important if you came all the way out here." Though, there was just the slightest harsh edge to his voice that he couldn't quite cover entirely.

"Quite important." L stated, finally crossing the wide expanse of the room to finally come to sit in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk. His body shifted about uncomfortably, as though no position was sufficient enough.

"Indeed. Considering the recent circumstances, and all." Light said as he sat back down in his own chair, his legs crossing as his eyes locked upon what he could only consider to be his enemy. "I heard about what happened. I'm sorry. If there's-"

"Your sympathy is appreciated, but not what I'm here for."

"Then what _are_ you here for?"

A long paused extended between the two, L taking the interim moment to look from Light down to the papers resting in their neatly organized stacks around the desk, his thumb coming up to his lip, the sure sign of his mind setting to work. "Our work has been… rather difficult to execute. Truthfully, you and I perform quite the same job, and yet so often it is heavily impeded by the trivial boundaries of districts of police authority."

Light paused momentarily, his head shifting just slightly as he pondered his words wondering just where L was going with all of this. There was no denying his words, though. Both of their work was heavily, and far too often, impeded by the very fact that London had long ago been split into numerous districts of authority in an effort to minimize the amount of area necessary to be patrolled. However, the inadvertent effect of such demarcations was the relatively simple task for criminals to escape simply by getting to the safety of another district to allude police pursuits. Once they hit those borders… the chase was over; there was nothing they could do until the criminal returned.

Over the years the districts had dwindled down to just two, but that remaining border still posed enough of a problem for both L and Light. So, then this was a proposition? But surely there had to be more to it than that.

"What are you proposing?" Light finally asked him. L was never one for beating around the bush, and to be frank, he hated to be kept waiting.

"An arrangement for unity. A partnership, if you will. One which would allow us both to retain our districts, and our authority, but allows for a more amicable relationship between the two. In the event of a criminal escaping to my jurisdiction, I shall extradite him to you and assist in any investigations should the need arise, and in exchange you would do the same for me. The way I see it, this is the only sensible option to overcome the senseless animosity held by both divisions." There was a pause, an air of tense hesitation hanging between them. "I'm sure you can understand the need for justice to prevail. No matter what."

Light's eyes narrowed on him. He could just _hear_ the manipulation dripping off his perfectly organized words. "What's the price?"

L held the silence for another moment, "Naturally, the way these things are usually done." A conniving sort of smirk played across his jagged features making Light's stomach churn. But what made it that much worse was that he knew exactly where L was going with this…

"You have a son." L finally said.

"Yes, but I've heard through the grapevine that you'd had one too."

The pad of L's thumb moved between his teeth momentarily. "Well, that's what you get for listening to word passed along the vine of a plant whose fruit is used to produce an intoxicant." He said, "Would I have come here if such a rumor were true?"

The silence settled between the two directors once more, Light's thoughts ruminating over his options. Though, realistically if he had any other option available, they were severely limited. The opportunity to finally get his hands on all the criminals that had evaded him was not one he could so easily turn down. Even if such a gold plated deal was being served by L. Just the idea of what this would mean for him in the future…

"Fine." He agreed. "I'll make the arrangements."

L nodded, standing at once from his seat, "I'm glad to see you indeed possess the sense of justice I imagined. We'll sort out the finer details out at a later time."

Light stood as well, remaining ever vigilant of the other's moves. He couldn't quite place it, but something didn't quite feel right about this deal… but what other grounds did he have to turn him down then a mere gut feeling? "This partnership goes into effect immediately."

L turned to him, "Yes, I suppose that only makes sense. However, if that is your stipulation then allow me to place one of my own. This is quite a dangerous undertaking we're about to form, Light. One which will be made exponentially more dangerous once the underworld learns what's going on. For both of our interests, it would be best for us to remain entirely separate, including our children. Until marriage, of course." Their eyes locked, the unspoken words of what they were both facing on a daily basis traveling between them. "Perhaps it is my own paranoia, but I would find it quite unfortunate for such a deal to be unraveled merely because something came to happen to them."

Light nodded, "I agree."

Offering his own nod of agreement, L headed towards the door. "I'm glad you see things my way, Light. I'd hate to have my new family involved in some senseless crime as a result of the good we're trying to bring to this city."

Light's teeth finally did grind together, his lips setting in a hard line, "We're _not_ family."

L opened the door, leaving the younger director alone with the final words, "No, but we will be. It's been good doing business with you, Light."

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A/N: Welcome to my newest story! For those who were not a part of the evolution of this idea on Tumblr, someone happened to ask me what I thought of the idea of an arranged marriage scenario between the successors, and I happened to say that I had thought about it, and… one thing led to another and suddenly Near's in dresses and here we all are. I apologize for what potentially was a slow start with this chapter, but now I find myself at a crossroads that I would appreciate your thoughts on. For the next chapter, this could be continued as I had originally imagined, or I could clean up and add a few scenes to the test chapter that I previous posted, and post it here. As far as I see it there are pros and cons to both, so the choice is now yours. Please let me know your thoughts!

Please review  
 _-Forbiddensoul562_


	2. Dear Mello

Orchestration

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimer.

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Chapter 2: Dear Mello

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Here?"

"Yep."

"Right now?"

"Probably."

"…Here?"

"Dammit, Matt, yes, here, that's what I said!" I huffed in annoyance, turning my gaze away from my friend who sat in front of me in the carriage as we approached the large estate which was consumed by its own festive nature. As the carriage was pulled to a stop, we both climbed out, my gaze travelling immediately around the other people heading towards the entrance. I shrugged off my deep brown fitted jacket, handing it to the man standing at the door as we approached.

Coming to stand there in the entrance way, I could feel my heart beginning to thump loudly within my chest, drowning out any of the idle chitchat from the adults mingling around in their own groups and my own subsequent worry about any of them wondering about the two teenagers wandering around the party. This was an imperative mission that had brought me here to begin with and I was not about to be turned back now.

Tonight was the last party of the summer season. After tonight all the attending prominent families would return to their respective areas of London, and the rest of the country, and life would resume as normal. This was my one and only chance. I had come too far, and risked too much by sneaking out of my parents' house to even humor the notion of failing. Realistically speaking, there wasn't much time that I could spend here searching before I needed to return to my own side of the city if I wanted to make it through this venture without getting caught upon my arrival. This needed to be nothing short of a fast and flawless execution.

Matt scanned the room, "Your fiancée, Natalie, is really here?"

The more repetitive questions Matt sent my way, the more I considered that perhaps I would have been better off coming here alone. "Yeah, that's what I heard."

"But her and her dad never really go anywhere, right? So why are they here now? Not to mention the fact that you've never even met this girl before, how do you even hope to find her?"

It was certainly a fair point, but obviously one I had considered long before actually getting in the carriage to come all the way here in the first place. "It shouldn't be too hard." I commented as both of us pushed through the crowds that stood in the entrance way to make our way to a large, open formal area. There, men in their fancy dark suits danced with women adorning their best large, colorful dresses to the sound of instrumental music. Each group seemed to spin around with their only concern being the shared happiness within that present moment. "My dad always says that I'll just know who she is the moment I see her; that she stands out from any other girl."

It was a vague, passive explanation, but it was the only one I had ever been given throughout my entire life when I pestered my father about this mysterious fiancée of mine. As far as I had ever been concerned, she existed as nothing more than a phantasmal figure continually morphed over the years by the transitory nature of my own evolving ideals of what she could possibly look and be like. It was fun to think on, but the older I got, the more frustrated I became for not knowing even the simplest thing about her.

After reveling in the mystery for all these years, when I was finally presented with the opportunity to share the same venue as her, it hadn't taken even the slightest of second thoughts for me to latch on and finally satisfy my own curiosity, rather than wait who knew how many more years until our wedding day.

"That's helpful…" Matt said with a defeated sigh, "I'm going to go look for her by the food table." My childhood friend muttered, turning suddenly to head in the opposite direction.

"Oh no you don't." I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt before he could move out of my sights, "You have to stick around and be the one to introduce us." God forbid she ended up being a stickler for social conventions and therefore found it odd if I just walked up to her randomly.

"What? I didn't agree to that!"

"Yes you did. What did you think I brought you here for?" I stated with a simple smirk, turning my look out to the groups of people again, searching through the crowd for any girl who could fit the simple explanation I had to go off of.

Suddenly, a group of people who had been blocking the view across from us parted, allowing for a clear line of sight to the far wall. Immediately I came to a halt, my eyes coming to lock on one individual in particular, a young girl dressed in varying shades of golden hues in a way that seemed only appropriate for celebrating the end of the summer season. Her dress was a bowed array of pleated fabric on the bottom, becoming tight and sleek as it reached her midsection, ending with just a slight dip in the neck and long sleeves that hung just off her shoulders. Her hair was short, covered in white locks of loose curls which she gently fumbled with her fingers; the look laden within her gray eyes betraying her own boredom of just being here.

' _Found you.'_ There wasn't a question in my mind. She was unique and interesting even standing across the room from me. There was not a single doubt in my mind as I began crossing the room, cutting the space between us while formulating a stronger plan with every move I made.

"Introduce us." I demanded of Matt, still looking nowhere but her.

His look moved from me, over to her then sighed, "Yeah, okay." There was a reluctance within him, but at this point to say no would impede my venture, and if he dared do such a thing he knew it would be unacceptable. I would never let him live it down.

He moved in front of me as we approached her, slapping an almost cheeky grin upon his face. "Good evening, Natalie. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" The confidence within him was almost shocking.

She looked over at him, eyeing him up and down with obvious confusion, then over to me. "Hello. Do I…" She cut herself off as though catching her own impolite action before it had been completely carried through.

"You don't look like you're having too much fun standing over here on the side by yourself. I wanted to introduce you to my friend. This is Mihael."

From the expression on her face she was ready to politely turn us both down. But the mention of my name stopped her in her tracks. Gray eyes widened by but a fraction of an inch before they snapped over to me, the gears beginning to turn and placing the obvious pieces into place. "I see." She finally said with a light exhale. "It's nice to meet you, Mihael."

My own smirk grew as I watched her, "My friends call me Mello. It's good to finally meet you, Natalie."

She nodded, "I go by Near."

Strange… What sort of nickname was that? I wanted to question it, but there were more important matters to attend to at the moment. Our time together was limited, and growing slimmer by the minute so instead I merely nodded to her as well, "Would you like to dance?" I asked, offering out a hand.

Near look shot between me to my extended hand, just the slightest flash of nervousness coloring her features before settling on a light, passive smile, "You don't want to dance with me."

"I'm fairly certain I do. Otherwise I wouldn't have come all the way out to the other side of London just to ask you to dance with me."

She paused, considering the offered words with just a bit of awe overtaking her expression, which only seemed to prove to make me feel more sure of this decision. Finally, a small smile crossed Near's face, "I hate to disappoint you, Mello, I'm not exactly one for dancing."

"Neither am I."

The smile seemed to grow by a fraction on Near's features, her look shifting between me and the dance floor as though considering the offer. "Okay." She finally agreed. "But just one dance." She took my hand, her cool fingers pressing into my warm ones, and with that I led the way for both of us away from Matt and the wall she had been leaning against and out onto the dance floor.

The two of us melded together into position for a simple waltz. My right hand encircled her to rest on her back; left gently taking her hand while her left hand rested upon my shoulder; with that I began leading the steps to move in small circles around the space. Truthfully, it didn't seem as though anyone sharing the dance floor with us were concerned about our impeding presence, yet somehow it still felt as though all eyes were upon us.

"Did you really come all the way out here just to dance with me?" Near asked, a hint of skepticism in her tone, yet deceptively concealed by just an ounce of jest; her gray, endless eyes watching to read me for any subtle shifts in expression.

I merely shrugged, "I mean… I'm certainly not going to turn down the opportunity to attend a good party." I bluffed, "But meeting you was a nice added benefit, too."

Near's eyes closed momentarily, but the persisting small, playful grin seemed to read straight through my own half-hearted cover. "That was… sweet of you." There was just an edge to her voice which for the life of me I couldn't seem to place. Why was it that she seemed to so readily, and effectively be able to read straight through me, yet she herself was as transparent as a brick wall? In a way it intrigued me, yet simultaneously peeked my frustration by just a fraction.

"To be honest, you're not anything like what I expected." I found myself stating, breaking our locked gaze to momentarily look instead upon the subtle details of her form, from the subtle curves of her small frame beneath my hand to the smooth alabaster skin that ran flawless for as much as was revealed to me.

"What were you expecting?" She prodded curiously.

I shrugged, suddenly finding that all of the conceptions I had previously formulated now seemingly having flown out the window the moment I had seen her and recognized her as my fiancée. "I don't know. Maybe somebody with a bit more bust." I joked, though immediately second guessing such a forward comment. What a great first impression this was making…

Surprisingly, Near merely chuckled lightly, "Yes, well… I suppose I'm not like other women. Though to be fair, I expected something a bit different as well; someone with a bit less hair." Her eyes broke away to look first at the long locks of golden hair haloing my head, then out to the other couples dancing on either side of us, as though beginning to compare their current situation to everyone else. Near was certainly proving to be a mystery; but one I found himself wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of my life unraveling.

"Well, we were the ones put together, so I guess you're stuck with me and my hair." At least about that I could be positive. Though in truth my entire disposition seemed to ease now that I had a mental image of my fiancée to keep with me.

"So it seems." Near responded simply.

The music seemed to slow down until it finally come to a halt; the movement of the other couples stopping. Some headed to the side, while others merely smiled and waited for the next song to begin. But with the temporal silence, as promised, both of us came to a stop, though we both remained in place with both of our hands remaining in the same position. Where were we supposed to go from here?

The song had ended far too soon for my own liking, but a promise was a promise, and I had essentially gotten what I had come here for, even if there was still so much I wanted to say and ask her about. "I have to go." I said, finally letting my hands fall from where they'd been holding her.

She nodded, "Well… hopefully it doesn't take another 15 years to see you again, Mello." In a way her entire disposition seemed reversed from how it had appeared upon our initial introduction –now no longer bored and despising the necessity of her presence here, but instead almost entertained, if not a bit disappointed by our moment being cut so short. That was certainly a good sign.

Caught up in the moment, I couldn't quite seem to help myself from reaching up and gently taking her chin between my fingers, placing a quick kiss to her soft, warm cheek. "It won't. I promise." I said, meeting her gaze once more before beginning to pull away. "Until next time, my dear fiancée."

I forced myself to part from her, our hands becoming the last to separate, though Near's final response trailed after me just as the music began to pick up again for the next song. "I await the day, dear Mello."

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A/N: I know that this is essentially the same as the test chapter that was posted online before. Honestly, I meant to change it a bit more before posting it, but I ran out of time. I am terribly sorry for that. In any case, I thought using this chapter would be a good transition piece between the beginning chapter and the next one, which will be their wedding day. Hopefully by then I can revise the piece to sound a bit better in Mello's point of view. I'm still working on my style of writing Mello, obviously. Nothing feels quite right through him yet, and yet I can't imagine this story being written any other way. Anyway, thank you to all those who responded to the last chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one as well!

 _Please review!  
_ Forbiddensoul562


	3. Wedding Bells

Orchestration

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimer.

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Chapter 3: Wedding Bells

' _Damn these formal occasions…'_ I thought to myself, a heavy sigh breaking from between my lips as I meticulously scrutinized over every detail reflected back at me from the long mirror hanging on the wall. I shook my head, _'I can't be this negative about my own wedding.'_ Even if I did hate the way I looked in a formal suit. Though, on second thought, my cautious inspection of myself could have just as easily been a response to having no other outlet for my own nervousness.

It felt as though I'd been waiting my entire life for this one single day. The day I'd get to _finally_ have see the girl I'd essentially been engaged to my entire life, Near, and have more than just a single passing conversation with her. For years she'd been like smoke between the grasp of my every rational imagining; our fleeting meeting with one another four years ago had become the single relic I had to hold onto.

How could it possibly be that someone who was hardly more than a name and a pretty face could become the fuel to my every sense of drive to establish myself closer towards success in order to bring about this day of union?

Though now that the fateful day had arrived, I couldn't help but think it all to be quite surreal. In a way this day felt like little more than a dream that I would soon awake from and find myself to be nothing more than a child naively counting down my days. Though in that moment the anxiety curling within my stomach kept me rooted in the present, reminding me that this was not something I could escape from merely by opening my eyes to the dawn of a different morning.

"Hey, Mello." Matt suddenly appeared beside me, a heavy hand dropping atop my shoulder. "Don't be so nervous."

I couldn't fight the scowl sent in his direction, "I'm not nervous."

"With a solemn look like that? You're definitely nervous." I shot him a quick glare as my only response, for a half second entertaining the thought that perhaps I shouldn't have asked him to be my best man. Though that immediately led to the next logical thought which was, if not Matt, then who else? The mere thought of anyone else standing by me was almost insulting. Still… did he have to be so damn perceptive?

"Everything's going to be fine, Mels, really!" The cheeky grin that crossed his face was one even I couldn't help cracking a smile at. It was his sheer idiocy, I justified.

"I know it will be." I said with another nervous exhale as I reached up to adjust the tie that held a vice grip over my neck. I cast him a quick glance through he reflection in the mirror, "Though, you never know… What if she finds me boring? I refuse to be married to someone who doesn't find me in the least bit interesting." Among other things, of course. After all, what if _she_ was dull? Truthfully I didn't know much about her at present, but I did know that she dislikes going to parties. That alone was understandable, but when faced with the fact that I had no other information about her to rebound it off of… it was just a bit disconcerting.

It suddenly felt as though everything was moving far too quickly. I wasn't entirely sure it was fair to say that I wanted it all to stop, but I certainly wouldn't have complained with just a slight deceleration…

Matt suddenly took hold of both of my shoulders, spinning me around until I found myself staring straight into his determined emerald orbs. "Mello, stop. You're the most interesting person I know, and that's saying something." His look moved away from mine just long enough to follow his hands up to begin redoing the tie around my neck. "I mean, you're twenty years old, you're getting your own house complete with staff, you're finally starting your career as a detective. What's not to find interesting about all of that?"

I shrugged, resigning myself to watching him work, "Maybe she would prefer to marry someone in a less dangerous field of work. A politician or something." I couldn't even begin to imagine myself in that line of work. Trying to make deals with people, listening to them talk about useless matters I could care less about, and pushing papers around… it was all so tedious. In the very least I could be glad that I hadn't been born into that sort of family line.

"Well at this point that's her issue to deal with, not yours. It's not like she doesn't _know_ who she's marrying and has had nineteen years to come to terms with that." Matt paused for a second, "Look, Mello, honestly you're worrying about the wrong things."

As Matt settled the tie into its new, comfortable place at my neck, his look finally lifted up to meet mine once more, a newfound determination laced within them. "You're marrying a girl who no doubt has one hell of a brain. So you've got to _listen_ to her, and _hear_ what she says. If she asks you your opinion on her art, _always_ give it to her, even if you don't know a damn thing about art and even if you've told her that at least twenty times! It's not worth the fight. Trust me. You've got to take her out places, and make her feel like you're showing her off. You've got to at least _act_ like you're interested in her stories. Otherwise she'll start asking you questions about the story that you can't answer, and that never goes over well at all. Oh, and don't fall asleep during-"

"Alright, Matt, I get it." I stepped away from him, my hands coming up in defense against his sudden onslaught of 'advice'. "I don't need all these tips. You and Linda aren't even married." Hearing all of this just felt like more pressure, and again I found myself considering whether or not I was ready for the responsibility that came with starting a household with someone else.

"No, but I've been with Linda for a long time. Therefore, I have much more experience than you. Besides, unlike you, I've gotten to see my partner whenever I want." As though I really needed reminded of that fact…

With that said, Matt began backing up towards the large wooden door that led out to the main hall of the church where the ceremony would be beginning in what could only be ten minutes or so, "I've got to go, but hurry up, and try not to worry so much! You'll be fine." He said, offering two thumbs up before pulling open the door.

But as he did so the door was simultaneously pulled open from the other side. "Oh, Mr. Yagami, sir." Matt's tone immediately fell to one more serious than its usual disposition. "I was just heading out. Good luck, Mello! No backing out now! After all, what's the worst that could happen?" He called as he slipped past Light out to the hall and disappeared.

The door was closed again and a thick silence pervaded the air between us. "You can't back out of this." He finally said sternly, taking just a few cautious steps into the small space. "There's far too much riding on this alliance."

I turned away from him, looking back to the mirror and fighting against the urge to tense and narrow my gaze at even the thought that I would do such a thing. "I'm not backing out."

"Good." He always had to have the last word, but I'd learned to live with that, regardless of how damn frustrating as it always was. "Everything is going to change today." Light continued with an exhale, going over to the side of the room and taking the dark jacket of my suit that I'd abandoned over the back of a chair.

"I know."

Light remained momentarily quiet as he brushed out the slight creasing of the fabric. "I've known L for a long time. He's… certainly a strange person, but there's no denying he does good work. I would not have made this arrangement if I didn't think it was for the greater good."

I rolled my eyes, "I know. You don't have to justify it to me."

"All I'm saying is everything is going to change." He crossed the space, approaching me and slipping that jacket up to rest on my shoulders. I shifted to get the material to rest in a comfortable position. "You should really cut your hair, Mihael. It's unprofessional."

"Mother likes my hair." I muttered almost under my breath. This was a washed out argument… He should know by now that that was _not_ going to happen.

"Your mother is still mad she never got to have a daughter. In any case, what if your wife doesn't like the length of your hair?"

I was quiet, "She's just going to have to deal with it."

A smirk crossed my father's lips, "You have a lot to learn. But for now, just enjoy today. Enjoy your honeymoon. After all, the rest of your life starts when you get back." He concluded, stepping around to the front of me to gauge my appearance. Probably to discern whether I looked appropriate enough to put out before all of his work colleagues and friends.

A part of me couldn't help wondering whether or not his words were meant to make me feel relieved or not. If so, then he was doing a shit job. The nervousness still churned in waves within my center, but as it stood I no longer had any reason, let alone the time to delay the inevitable. Though, my father wasn't quite right. Certainly my life was about to change. But it started today.

The two of us made our way from what had been the makeshift dressing room out into the main nave of the elaborate church, where groups of people I hardly knew were gathered sitting within the pews; most of them people from Light and L's work, presumably. Looking over them all and seeing so many faces of people I didn't know, I couldn't help wondering how much of my own wedding was merely functioning as a show just to hammer home the unity that had been established between the two police forces.

Either way, they were here now and there was nothing to be done about it. In any case, their presence wasn't anywhere close to what mattered to me at the present moment. They were all merely nameless faces on the periphery of what was important, which was establishing the base by which my wife and I would build a foundation.

As I stood at the front of the church, the music started from a piano set off to the side. My heart pounded in my chest almost loud enough to deafen the sound of the music. All those in attendance rose from their seats; their attention turning to the end of the chapel.

The double doors were pulled open, the early morning light flooding into the entrance as two figures walked up. My breath caught in my lungs, my hands that were folded together in front of me were hot and growing sweaty. How interesting it was that someone like me, normally so confident in the face of opposition, could be thrown off balance by one who was supposed to be my partner.

The two entered, L leading his daughter down the aisle with a look in his eyes that could only be described as hard and closed off. But it was the figure on his arm which held my gaze. Near, the daughter arranged to be mine, adorned a large, fancy white dress detailed with trimmings of fine tulle and delicate lace that persisted down to the train following behind her. Dark gray eyes met mine, offering only the faintest of a nervous smile before the look fell to the floor before cycling through the motions again.

In so many ways she was just as I remembered her being years ago, yet at the same time was entirely different and it felt as though I was looking upon her for the very first time.

She reached the front of the chapel and I stepped down the take her from L, he and I sharing only the slightest of nod before my attention moved back to her. "Good to see you." Near whispered as we came to stand before the priest.

"I told you it wouldn't be that long till we met again."

"Well, it's good to know you keep your promises, then." Near said with the slightest air of humor used to cover over the obvious reality of our shared swelled nerves.

"Don't be nervous." I whispered.

Near's look moved up to me, "Speak for yourself."

"I am."

We both smiled at one another, and I couldn't resist the urge to reach between us and take her hand in mine. This entire ordeal had been nerve wracking, not to mention frightening and a painstaking mystery that I didn't quite feel equipped to solve on my own. Though, together… Together it felt as though perhaps we had what it took to take on the world.

-:-

It'd been a long, grueling and of course an eventful day. Matt and my father had made it a point to insist that everything in my life would change during married life. But it didn't quite feel like that at all. Contrary to what they had alluded to, it only took until after the reception, when we'd been put into the carriage to head off to the organized honeymoon in the country, when everything came down from the level of excitement and reality seemed to settle upon my bones.

What was I supposed to say to her? For all the questions that had plagued me about her before today, they now felt like little more than dandelion florets evading me in the wind. Then again, I hadn't thought that it would take nearly as long as it would take to get to the estate.

By the time we arrived, night had already fallen. I helped her out from the carriage before we headed up to the entrance. Though as we approached I stopped suddenly, the hand I'd kept with hers pulling her to a stop as well. She looked back, her look displaying her confusion, "Mello?"

My gaze travelled from her to the door, "Aren't I supposed to… you know, carry you?"

A small smile crossed her lips, "I believe that's only done over the threshold of one's _actual_ house."

I shrugged. "Well… For the next few days this _is_ our home." In a way even this slight exchange felt rigid in nature as we were both caught within our natural introduction state of evaluating just who the law had tied us to, yet I couldn't help analyzing her every move, wondering to myself if she was really this conventional and reserved when she relaxed. If so, then I could only assume that that would pose nothing short of a few challenges in the future. Such as our present circumstance.

Though, on the other hand, I suppose she would have to come to learn just what sort of stubbornness she was now tied to at some point. "Come on. I doubt anyone is still awake anyway. What they don't know won't hurt."

Near scowled in response, "No, but it _could_ hurt me."

"I'm not going to drop you." I said with a roll of my eyes. More and more it was appearing that if I wanted something from her I was going to have to take over the control in order to prove that I in fact knew what I was doing. _That_ was going to be frustrating…

Before she had a chance to respond I moved closer to her, placing one hand on her back and scooping under what seemed to be an endless amount of fabric from the bottom of the dress up into my arms. She released but the smallest of gasps as her arms interlocked tightly around my neck; gray eyes continued to scowl at me, "You're unreasonably insistent."

"What can I say, I usually get what I want."

"Clearly…" There was but the slightest tinge to her words that seemed to hint that she had every intention of changing that, and honestly I would love to see her try. After all, I was always up for a good challenge if those on the other side proved to be a worthy competitor.

Without another word I continued up the path to the front door, blindly fumbling with the handle until I heard it click and I could push it open. We were immediately met by a large, open entranceway decorated with vibrant colors and old paintings hanging upon the walls while an elegant wooden staircase curved its way up to the second floor. Only a third of the usual evening candles remained lit, casting the entire space in a haunting glow.

But it was being met at once by a group of three house servants which brought me to an immediate halt. Naturally they wouldn't say anything about the present circumstance, but proper social conventions wouldn't stop them from thinking it, and I knew exactly what _it_ was. This must look… I cleared my throat, at once placing Near down again, who merely looked from me to them as though to say, _'Well, what are you going to do about this?'_

"You're all still up?" Genius, Mello.

The single male standing between the two women nodded, "Of course, sir, we were expecting your arrival." What he meant to say was that they, and probably others, had expected us to be arrive much earlier.

"Yeah, we got a later start than we previously imagined." I said with a simple shrug.

"No need to justify it to us, sir. We'll get your things and then assist in getting you both ready for bed." He said with the kindest of smiles that eased the embarrassment that had washed over me.

I nodded simply, allowing the man for whom I couldn't quite remember the name of… William, perhaps, to walk past both of us to the door we had just come through while the woman smiled, "We'll show you to your room." Well, this was off to an interesting start, at least.

-:-

I knocked gently on the door, pausing only momentarily before pushing it open, entering into the dimly lit bedroom where Near was found sitting at the vanity mirror. My sudden presence allowed just enough time to catch the distant, pondering look spinning the gears laden within her steely eyes before it was at once covered over as her eyes lifted to mine in the reflection.

"I hope you don't care about these sorts of… superfluous trivialities." I commented as I stepped in and gently closed the door until I heard the latch snap in place behind me. "Maybe it's just me, but I know how to put on my own clothes and can usually tie my own ties."

Near offered a small smile, reaching up to toy with a single snowy lock of hair, "You're not the only one. If it was feasible, I'd do the same." True, women did seem to have far more necessary steps to go through in order to make sure they looked good. I couldn't even begin to imagine going through that every day; sometimes multiple times a day, even.

We remained quiet for another moment, a sort of strained air hanging between us of what we were both thinking, yet couldn't, or wouldn't, put to words. I shot a quick glance over to the pristinely made bed, "Shall we?"

Her eyes moved over to where my own were, "I will… join you later. I'm not tired just yet." That persistent sense that I'd seen in her from the beginning, the shades of nerves which overtook the otherwise reserved sense of confidence I could see just below her surface was present once again, though it appeared she was doing less to cover it now. Where was it coming from, though? What could I have possibly done to instill this much unease in her?

"Neither am I."

Near said nothing in response, merely turning back to the mirror, delicate fingers continued to twirl the single strand of hair. I exhaled a heavy breath, crossing the space of the room to stand behind her and placing my hands on her shoulders that were covered by a thin layer of satin. My gaze moved outward to look over the image of the two of us together like this.

Somehow it seemed… jarring, me in dark nightwear and her in white; the subtle features of her alabaster frame compared to my own marginally darker ones; a product of my own fieldwork. Still it seemed like such a natural blend of the two contrasts, in a way. If I was to be perfectly honest, I knew absolutely nothing about the woman I'd sworn my life away to, yet that mystery seemed to add a certain appeal that made me think that perhaps there should be no other way than how we had gone about it. For as frustrating as it had been, I couldn't seem to imagine having done anything different.

There were no restraints between us anymore, no barriers or people around to dictate or hold in check traditional conventions or values. For just a brief period we'd stepped off the paved way of society to see the grander picture of our own world, and I had every intention of breathing in and living up to that freedom.

I leaned down, placing my lips upon the soft skin of her neck, feeling the warmth of the area, smelling the residual fragrance of a subtle, lingering perfume. I heard her sigh lightly as my lips moved upwards. "Mello…" She breathed.

"Come to bed with me."

"Why would I go to bed if I'm not tired?"

I looked briefly to the mirror, noticing the way her eyes had shut, head slightly tilted to the side. That was a good sign, at least. "Because it's our wedding night."

"We don't even know each other." Her tone had become low, growing almost breathy with each peck placed against her neck.

"And yet you married me." I knew what she'd say before she could even formulate the words, and I wasn't about to let this negotiation become derailed by the discussion of our own agency. "Let me get to know you, then."

She exhaled once more, as though knowing she had very little room to object, yet as I chanced another glance to the mirror I saw her dark eyes watching me. "Come on." I whispered, taking her hand and bringing her up from the seat at the vanity and instead over to the bed.

"Mello. Not…" Her words cut off as she sat on the mattress, making slow moves to place distance between us.

"What?"

She slid further backwards towards the headboard, "If you want to know me then perhaps we should just talk."

I moved closer, cutting the space between us down just as quickly as she could build it up. My look shifted to confusion, "Tell me what you're thinking." Was it purely nerves? Surely this wasn't some misplaced fear, but how could I be expected to fix the situation with no leads to go on?

Her look grew serious on me, "You don't want to do this."

This was certainly getting more curious by the minute. What existed beneath the surface that led to such objections? "I'm fairly sure I do." She shook her head, and at once it suddenly clicked in my own head, "Oh, I get it." I sat back, looking her over in the entirety, though she seemed to do much the same.

"No, I _really_ don't think you do."

"You're unvirtuous…"

Her brow screwed together, "No, that's-."

"If that's what's going on-."

"It's not."

"Then there's no issue." Before Near could say anything more I leaned in to capture her lips with mine, there was a hesitance in her actions and at once every muscle in her body went stiff, but her previous responses led me to believe that it would fade as I deepened the kiss, allowing one hand to trail up her leg, gingerly moving beneath the satin nightgown. Yet her body tensed more under the touching until she finally pulled away as I reached the upper thigh, and-

"Mello!"

My hand shot back as though it had suddenly touched fire; our stares locked, "You're male?!"

* * *

A/N: I apologize for the delay in uploading this. I've been a bit bothered about the state of how this chapter turned out so I put it off, plus I had my graduation/degree-deciding exams so that put everything behind. But anyway, I apologize for what I'm sure were tons of historical inaccuracies about how these matters and many others were handled. I have attempted to do what research I can, but obviously I am limited in my available sources. In any case, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Thanks to those who have stuck by this fic so far! You all mean the world to me and I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well.

Please review  
 _-Forbiddensoul562_


	4. Sense of Direction

Orchestration

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1

* * *

Chapter 4: Sense of Direction

The person I had essentially been engaged to my entire life, and had finally married, was male. That fact settled like bricks on top of my shoulders. What was I going to do about this?

Was there anything that even _could_ be done? In the best case scenario, with any luck she… no, _he_ would have a spontaneous heart attack and I'd be put out of the encroaching misery that was becoming my life. But no doubt I would ever actually be _that_ lucky. On second thought, not even a heart attack would be advantageous to our situation now for surely there'd be some kind of autopsy after and that would lead to an arising of all these questions that, even now, I batted away like flies.

The silence persisted between us like a suffocating, thick summer heat. Near sat upright in bed with distant gray eyes that no longer seemed to hold the mysteries of the entire world that I had been so intent upon unraveling. Now he appeared as one merely lost in his thoughts. Probably trying to think of a way to cover this up to save his own skin. Meanwhile, I sat in a lone chair across the room, starring him down, assessing every subtle shift he made and positively seething with latent anger.

I had never before felt so inclined towards murder before. My father was the head of the entire law enforcement agencies for half of London, and Near's headed the other half, and still I found myself contemplating whether or not I would be able to get away with it if I tried hard enough. For in that moment it felt as though if my fingers were not currently wrung together at my lips they would surely be around his neck. _Why_ did he have to do this to me?

"Mello, I-"

"No."

His look slowly moved over to me, "You must-"

"No."

"Are you just-"

"You are _really_ bad at following instructions." I stated, my own look hardening on him as though hoping even the slightest increase of force would succeed in at least setting him aflame. But he was in no way fazed, merely continued to watch me with those endless orbs.

"And you're being quite the petulant child."

My body shot out of the seat, the force of the sudden movement causing the chair to collide hard against the wall. " _I'm_ being a child?"

"Yes, you are." Still he remained entirely unfazed. There was no doubt he knew just how furious I was, the anger positively exuding off me like a wave of fire in his general direction. And yet he remained perfectly in place, holding his own ground as though we were having nothing short of an ordinary conversation, or worse yet… as though he thought himself as hold all the cards.

There was nothing more I wanted in that moment than to hit that indifferent expression off his face, as though in some way it would force him to take me seriously. But as I looked him over, the only thing which held me back was the looming feeling that if I allowed myself to give in to such a visceral desire it would do nothing but prove _his_ point. Damn him…

Instead I was stuck forcing out the simplest response I could that wouldn't set off what was seeming to become an eminent explosion, "Do you have _any_ idea what you've done?" I said, my tone lowering with each word while allowing myself to take but a few aimless steps into the open space of the bedroom, feeling his stare following me while keeping a constant check of how much distance there was between us.

"I know perfectly well." He said with a nod.

"No, clearly you don't, or you wouldn't be so damn casual about the entire situation!" With each word spoken I could hear the force to my words increasing, the weight of the entire situation only seeming to add more bricks upon my shoulders. If they folded, by God I swore I would take Near down with me.

But until then… What to do, what to do?

I stopped, a simple, angelic idea suddenly flashing through my mind. "Annulment." I said aloud. "We'll go back to the city tomorrow and get an annulment of the marriage."

Near nodded, "Fine." He reached for a strand of hair, twirling it around his index finger. "But on what grounds?"

"On what grounds? On the grounds that you're-." The words died on my lips, all actions and the very sense of hope that had only just begun to slip into my veins coming to a screeching halt. At once, with his simple question, the dark truth underlying this trap he'd ensnared me into became clear. Those steely gray eyes watched me carefully with ever-spinning gears that worked to analyze my every move. And yet, somewhere deep in the recesses there appeared the lingering of his own acknowledgment of this perfectly concocted plan. Any escape route I could think of he'd already taken into account and planned for. His question, _on what grounds_ , meant only to ascertain which counterpoint to use.

"This is blackmail." I said almost under my breath while my thoughts ran desperately sorted through any and all possible options, however few realistically existed to me.

No matter what I latched onto, he had me backed into a corner.

If I went through with my plans of annulment I would need a grounds for the action, but all I had was that the person arranged to be my partner was male. However, if I presented this information I would be subjecting him to a criminal case in which he could easily incriminate me, as well. For at such a point it would only come down to his word against mine of whether I had known about this from the beginning.

Not to mention if my father found out… what would this information do for his precious unity and his precious sense of justice? Not to mention his, _our_ reputation…

Near was questioning, _taunting_ even, whether or not I had it in me to put myself and my entire family on the line, and whether I was willing to disappoint all of them in the process.

"Don't be dramatic." He said, lids slipping down over his eyes, "This is not blackmail," again fierce gray orbs opened once more, locking upon me, "it's merely asking you to play the game with me."

My look narrowed defensively. "What do you want?" I slung venomously. "Why are you doing this… Let alone even _agreeing_ to be a part of this?"

His expression shifted to one of confusion, "Mello, you of all people know that these weren't terms that either of us agreed to. Given the circumstances all we can do is make the best of the situational hand we've been dealt." He spoke with such a practiced ease and with an evenness that seemed almost natural in a way that churned my stomach just thinking about.

That accepting tone to his voice seemed to enrage me in its own way, though the more I thought rationally about it, the more I figured such a response made sense coming from him. After all, Near had known the truth behind what he was getting involved with for a much longer time than I, allowing him the necessary time to process and accept what his life would become. Not that that understanding lessened my own anger over the matter, let alone the fact that he had tricked me in a corner leaving no viable option to take as an escape.

In one act, one single evening, the entirety of my life and its future had been turned upside down. No longer did this feel like the adventure or discovery that I had previously heard described of marriage. This was nothing more than a trap.

"So… What are we supposed to do?" I said begrudgingly as I turned to go sit back across the room in the chair I'd started out in. Near's cold, steely eyes watched me with that lingering sense of interest that I wanted nothing more than smack off of him. Why was it so hard for him to just treat me like a human being rather than some experiment to be monitored?

"We need to formulate a plan." He said. "Clearly it would be to everyone's benefit if this did not get out, so it is to our advantage to work together to ensure that that does not occur through establishing an image of us existing as nothing more than another normal married couple."

I could merely nod in response, the action alone feeling just as mechanical as the gears spinning behind his orbs. "Fine. Tomorrow we'll figure out what to do." At least for now I would have the rest of the night to sort through how to come to terms with this unraveling situation.

A peculiar silence filled the room as I watched Near look down to the bed, then finally back up to me, hesitantly asking, "will you be coming to bed?"

My own look unconsciously narrowed, finding myself increasingly suspicious of everything Near said to me. "No. I'm not tired. I'll just sleep here."

Near paused momentarily. "That would be… unwise. Given the fact that this _is_ technically our wedding night, and that we do need to keep this a secret, it would be unwise to risk anyone entering and finding us not sleeping together. You must agree that that would be just a bit suspicious."

I remained quiet, hating the fact that everything he said made perfect sense, and came out sounding as though he had planned it all well before this moment. Even so, I finally sighed loudly, pushing myself up from the chair and going over to the right side of the bed with a less than enthusiastic, "fine," muttered under my breath.

After blowing out the few candles that had remained lit in the room, the space was consumed with a quiet darkness, broken only by my own racing thoughts that somehow still seemed utterly incapable of putting down the question of what exactly I planned on doing about this situation. Was I really willing to let this become the rest of my life?

But, again, what _could_ be done? The ever pervasive question burning on my mind seemed only to be sufficiently answered by the resounding 'nothing,' yet still I continued to search the recesses of my own mind for anything that may have been overlooked which would give me a way out of this situation while retaining my dignity, as well as my father's image and his sense of unified justice.

"Mello?" Near's quiet whisper broke through the stillness.

"Hm?"

"I understand that this is all more than a bit difficult for you to handle right now. However, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I do have one particular favor that I need to ask of you."

A heavy exhale was released, my chest deflating in defeat with it. What more could he _possibly_ want from me now? "What?"

A long, drawn out pause extended between us. "Seeing as how it would not be in our best interests for this information to fall into the wrong hands, I believe it would be most advantageous for our situation to remain among as little numbers of people as possible."

"Obviously. What do you want?" He was drawing this out unnecessarily with points we both knew and it made me wonder… Was he suddenly… nervous? Why?

"As such, tomorrow I was wondering if you would assist me in dressing."

My head fell to the side, finding him through the darkness, "Excuse me?"

He was already lying on his side, and despite the veil of shadows hindering my view I could still make out his movements to reach for the strands of his hair once again, "It's not as weird as it may come across, contrary to apparent social convention. In fact, my father, at times, used to assist my mother with such matters."

"Was your father married to a man, too?"

"Obviously not." Obviously... "As I said, I only ask because I believe it to be in our best interests. While I am not entirely incapable of such tasks, certainly matters such as lacing the corset would be an impossibility for me."

I couldn't bring myself to respond immediately, instead mentally questioning whether this was actually occurring or whether this as all some horrible nightmare that I would hopefully be waking up from soon. Even if was, until that moment happened, I was stuck facing the odd request placed before me. Apparently it was not enough for Near to merely take away any semblance of normalcy that I could have ever achieved, but now I had to actually be roped into this lie, to ensure that we both were able to hold up our ends of the bargain we had hardly agreed to.

Then again, I suppose we in fact _had_ agreed to the bargain at the alter earlier that very day.

"Fine, whatever." I finally responded despondently, turning away from him. "Go to sleep. We'll figure out what to do about all of this tomorrow." I could still feel his eyes on my back, desperately trying to pick me apart to discern just where I stood in all of this.

Fuck him. He could keep himself up all night with his ruminations for all I cared. Meanwhile, I had every intention of letting myself drift off to a peaceful sleep where, with any luck I could dream that my wedding night had turned out much different, and much more satisfying than this…

-:-

The steadily arising light of the dawn lifted me from the relatively pleasant slumber I'd found. Though as it impeded into my sights, so too did the cruel reality that came to the surface of my, of _our_ developed situation. I shuddered at the very thought.

' _Dammit…'_ I lifted a hand up to run through my hair as my eyes finally slid open in defeat against the intrusive diffuse lighting steadily filling the space and showing all the proof that what I had hoped to be a nightmare was in fact the truth latent within the new direction my life had taken.

After a moment I dared to let my gaze shift over to the side, resting upon the sight of Near who slept beside me. The look painted across his slumbering features was in some way oddly tranquil, to the point that it felt the longer I looked upon him, the more the boundaries became blurred between what was, and what had been.

Of course my own anger still simmered in my belly at the gall he had to deceive me, and yet I still found myself wondering… was this not the same person who had for so many years held my fascination? Were his delicate hands that loosely gripped the sheets not the same ones I'd held that night we had danced together? Were his cheeks not the same ones I had kissed that same night?

To the rest of the world our story continued uninterrupted. It was only he and I who stood on the outside, holding onto the pen which dictated the creation of our own story from here on out and who were now privy to the secrets once veiled us. Or at least veiled over me…

Where would we go from here? What lay at the end of our storybook tragedy? There was only one way to find out for sure.

"Near." My voice cut through the silence as I turned to lay on my back so as to conceal the fact that I'd been watching him. A soft, questioning hum escaped him before his lids pulled back to reveal gray orbs fogged over with drowsiness. "If you want my help then we should get up." I said in an exhale. Sure, it was a necessary evil to keep this ruse going, at least for the moment, but that didn't entail that I had to _like_ doing it, much less being involved in this lie to begin with.

He exhaled his own soft sigh, turning to lie on his back as well, "Yes, I suppose you're right." There was just a touch of disappointment within him that I couldn't quite discern as stemming from his distaste at getting up so early after the tumultuous events of the previous night, or if it was his own distaste at having to include me in his lies now, too. I chose to believe it was the latter.

Without another word, though, he finally began to get up, folding back to covers and stretching out his muscles before standing. For some reason I couldn't help letting my gaze linger on him once more, watching the way the way the pale fabric seemed to meld with his skin; noticing just how soft and flawless his complexion was. Had it not been for the previous night, I doubted I would have ever believed that Near was male.

"Mello?" He said back, realizing that I'd yet to move from my spot despite my own advising.

"Yeah, yeah." As it stood, there was no getting out of _this_ now.

We both rose to get ready, each going over to the cases of clothes we'd brought for the trip. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him pull out the aforementioned material, though he must have felt me observing his own processes for he turned just slightly, muttering quietly, "don't look."

Instantaneously I felt my face flush, "I'm not looking!" I shot, turning just slightly to focus only on my own clothing, though my thoughts continued to remain only on the other.

Near seemed surprisingly strong, and certainly one who could stand on his own and put up one hell of a verbal battle. So where was this sudden uncertainty in himself coming from? Was he really so self-conscious about his appearance? Strange for one who had so easily manipulated me into this sadistic game only hours ago.

"Alright." He finally breathed, and I seemed to need no other cue to turn, finding him standing at the long mirror; his previous nightgown had been removed, in its place the aforementioned corset covering much of his upper body while the thin strings remained loose at his back.

Suddenly this all felt much more real than it had before. What was I supposed to do with this?

But I had already agreed to the terms, so with one final swallow of all the nerves welling within me I moved closer to him, "What am I supposed to do?" It looked easy enough, anyway, yet still the awkward question had slipped out.

He looked just barely over his shoulder, his look never meeting mine, "You just… tie it. Thread each string through the holes on the other side, pull each one tight. It's rather self-explanatory."

I glared at him, "I knew that." If he was going to have an attitude, then I should just walk away and let him sort it out himself. But I couldn't, and we _both_ knew that, and that was what was so impossibly infuriating about it all. Without another word I begrudgingly took the thin strings in hand and began threading them through, pulling them tightly on the other side.

… Or at least what I had _thought_ was tight, until his voice cut into my concentration, "They need to be tighter, Mello." His tone came out smaller than usual, colored instead by a new hue of what I could only describe as embarrassment or even, perhaps, shame. It was as if he was concerned that _this_ was the matter which made me view him in a vastly different light.

This was just the tip of a much larger iceberg, yet it was what he seemed most concerned about. I could only begin to wonder if maybe it was because this moment was the one which left him the most vulnerable. After all, the success or failure of his ability to pass off our lie started and ended with me, now.

This moment had given me a window to better see into him, but in that second I could only seem to bring myself to narrow my gaze at the strings and pull them tighter than they had been before. "If you don't shut up I'm going to pull them tight enough that it crushes your ribs." I muttered almost under my breath.

He hardly missed a beat, "That would be preferable to one too loose. At least then nobody has to find out."

I glared at him through the reflection in the mirror but, true to his nature, he remained unfazed by it. A quick silence passed between us while I continuing my work, though ever present of his solemn and blank stare. Against my better judgment I found myself wondering what exactly was brewing beneath those curls of white hair. "Do you like wearing all this stuff?" I asked, chancing a glance up, just in time to watch his expression fill with a new sense of self, as though he had been utterly out of his body until I spoke.

"How do you mean?"

"What I mean is… Well, men's clothes are a lot easier to put on than this. They're probably more comfortable, too."

He paused, then released a small smile as he rested upon just what I was implying. "Perhaps they would be, but, you see, I know no other way. I've dressed in this sort of attire since before I can even remember." My actions paused as I took in Near's words, recognizing the fact that L would indeed have needed to keep this lie probably since his son's very birth. But why was _this_ the route he had taken? "These clothes don't feel confining, Mello. They feel like security."

As much as I hated to admit it, of course I understood the underlying message he revealed. These clothes were the difference between continuing to live his life the way he always had with some semblance of freedom, and total imprisonment and shame upon himself and his family. They were the deciding factor to the continuation of a deal, an agreement that was much larger than him, and in fact bigger than either of our own value as individual human beings.

Only together, through a union of both of our families, could justice be carried out as true as it _needed_ to be. Only through following the lie of his identity could he, we, and _it_ continue. But such a fact made me wonder… If Near had been engaging in such an act for so long was it even fair to call it a lie of his identity to begin with? Or was this rather just who he was as a person?

For now, I had only to push the thought away with a simple shake of my head as I tied off the end of the corset. "There, it's done." I muttered, allowing the fine thread to slip from between my fingers and turning away so that he could finish dressing.

This was all certainly an interesting development.

-:-

"So," I breathed out as Near and I ambled out onto the grounds of the estate that morning, me with my hands driven far into my pockets and looking anywhere but him, while Near held onto the white parasol shielding him from the sun and looking, well… anywhere but me. "What are we going to do?"

His eyes finally slid over to me, "As I've said before, there's hardly anything we _can_ do."

"Not about _that_." He'd already proven why merely backing out of this marriage would not be the best idea for anybody involved. "I mean about… you know. The logistics." His look shifted to confusion but did not question further, so I clarified the point. "Where we're living has already been decided. Obviously it's just a small place in the city for now, but I'm guessing you don't want many people working at the house. So, what's your number?"

The confused look only seemed to deepen, "Is that really necessary?"

"Of course it's necessary. Are you just going to allow those people to remain without a job?" I shot him a quick look, unable to hold back the smug smirk, "Besides, I have serious doubts that you even know how to boil water, much less do anything necessary for keeping a house running."

His look fell away without so much as a witty retort, silently conceding to my point. After a moment, he finally responded. "Perhaps only a couple." It was reluctant, but a fair request. There were only two of us, after all, so the need shouldn't be too entirely difficult.

"That's simple enough. But what about the logistics of this situation between us. I mean, people are going to want to see us as a normal couple. You know, doing… couple things." Having to discuss such things felt wrong just to say, nor was it anywhere close to what I had originally wanted. More I felt myself heat under the weight of my own embarrassment.

"Are you incapable of keeping this secret?" He questioned, lightly twirling the handle of the parasol.

"Of course I can! But if we're going to do this then we damn well need to make sure it's believable. Though, now that I think about it, keeping this going forever seems unrealistic. I mean, what do you expect us to do when my family, or anyone associated with me starts wanting to know why we haven't had kids yet?" The thought sent a shiver down my spine. Mother would kill me if I didn't give her grandchildren… but given the situation…

We came to an almost simultaneous stop, his eyes trained on me in something akin to apprehension. At least on that matter we seemed to harbor the same concerns. "I think you're looking just a bit too far down the road. Perhaps we should first focus with something simpler. We can handle those other matters as they present themselves. There's no sense getting tied to fine details that are essentially useless at this moment."

He was right. This was a very careful dance we were attempting to orchestrate. A long and painful dance... No doubt about that. "Yeah, I guess." I paused momentarily, considering what should be on the forefront of our concerns. "We should probably practice how to appear in front of people so we can have that down by the time we go back to what will be our new life. Otherwise people might get suspicious."

I watched as he looked away momentarily, lids covering his gray eyes briefly as though to conceal a roll of his eyes. Because, of course, this was all just an addition to his usual reality. But it wasn't for me, and he knew that, but it seemed that didn't make the matter any less sadistically entertaining. "So then, where do you want to begin?"

I shrugged, "Probably, I don't know, the beginning?"

He remained quiet in a reserved consideration, appearing to look over each minute detail of my face with a trained eye before he said slowly, "In that case… then perhaps you should kiss me."

My stomach twisted into a knot and by the small smile that suddenly graced his lips I was sure that showed on my face. I didn't want to. He _knew_ I didn't want to. But he was right… it was as close to the 'beginning' of keeping up appearances as we were going to get. Anything else was simple by comparison. If I could get past this act…

I swallowed down the forming lump in my throat, "We probably should. Just for appearances."

Near nodded, the soft smile remaining, "Exactly. After all, it would be quite odd for you to be unable to kiss your own wife." The words felt so strange to hear. And yet… and yet…

I wasn't about to let him get the upper hand and revel in the known fact of how uncomfortable this entire situation made me. So without another word I stepped closer to Near, giving myself only half a second to reconsider what I was about to do before leaning forward and gently touching my lips to his.

The kiss itself was chaste, simply lips lingering together wondering what exactly to do. His actions were perfectly still, allowing me the freedom to decide how this would be handled while I counted the second with the assistance of the deafening, hammering thuds of my heart in my ears. His lips were soft against mine… exactly how I remembered them being when he had kissed at the alter and, when this close, I could just barely smell a touch of lavender upon him. It was… oddly nice, and yet a strange jarring sense of gentleness against the withheld fierceness I'd seen unleashed from behind that composed disposition.

Finally, I pulled away from him, our eyes locking momentarily, each silently questioning the other. I was the one to finally look away, feeling my face flush. From the corner of my eye I watched the small smile return, though now it bordered on positively smug. "Well?" He pressed.

I crossed my arms in a childish, outward defiance, "We have a lot of work to do."

He shook his head lightly, reaching out and taking hold of my elbow in the manner so many normal couples did when walking together. As he began to pull me along again I couldn't help allow myself to rest upon the thought that this _was_ my new normal. Even if I didn't like it. Even if I wanted nothing more than to change it, and him and get out of it. It wasn't ideal, but such seemed to be the way of an arranged marriage to being with. Still… in the very least, at least I could rest assured that the person I had been married to, Near, was an unbelievably fast learner in all the quirks, features, and factors that made me who I was.

"We'll get there." Near assured quietly, the confidence lingering in his tone enough to assure me of that fact for at least this single lingering moment of time. He'd been doing this far longer than I, after all. Surely he knew what he was talking about in these matters, at least.

Maybe this wouldn't be entirely unbearable. Maybe… just maybe.

* * *

A/N: Points to those who can find the line borrowed here from Downton Abbey (from the first season, probably). Sometimes I get bored, writing, and hide little references in my chapters for me to read months later and laugh about. But anyway, this chapter turned out far longer than I had originally planned on it being. I apologize for the long delay in updating but I got quite overwhelmed with the end of school. However, as long as there are people still willing to read, I shall begin working more on this piece. So, thank you to all who left their support on this piece and who sent requests and encouragement about this story on Tumblr as well! I would be immensely grateful to hear any comments you have about this chapter!

Please review  
 _-Forbiddensoul562_


	5. Ill-Fated Destiny

Orchestration

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimer.

* * *

Chapter 5: Ill-Fated Destiny

Never before had I thought that seven days could pass so quickly. Seven full days stuck with Near, erecting a strong exterior against the gaze of the house staff that surrounded us almost constantly. Yet, behind closed doors and even within myself I felt trapped with this burning secret locked in my gut, desperately trying to sear its way to the surface. But of course it would never see the light of day, and I was not about to be the reason that this secret was exposed, and so we practiced the steps necessary for maneuvering through what would become our stage play of a reality.

As much as possible, I wanted to ensure that the necessary aspects were covered. We practiced everything from learning to hold hands without myself feeling the need to pull away from him or even look away to the subtler actions of proper physical interactions when others were present. Still, it didn't feel as though we were anywhere near ready to step out before the world's eyes. Maybe after another week… but fate wasn't so gracious as to permit us the necessary accommodations for practice.

This morning was the last we would spend out in the country… heading back to our new home and new life by the afternoon. And yet as I sat at the table with breakfast before me, sure I spooned bits of eggs into my mouth, but the taste was bland by comparison to the nerves churning up my insides. Yet still my arm continued to mechanically put forkfuls of food in my mouth while my eyes gazed down at the newspaper the house staff insisted on giving me every morning. The words existed as little more than black lines and curls dotting the page, though I couldn't be bothered with paying attention to them. But it was the image of one captivated by the happenings around the country, and the world which mattered more.

Even just sitting here at the breakfast table, I could feel my life being put into a brick box formed by both of our façades, the lid securely locked into place by this secret. I couldn't help wondering how long we would have air for…

"We should stay here a bit longer." Near's sudden voice piped up from beside me, his thoughts ever in synch with my own.

"Out of the question." I muttered, though even I could hear the disappointment hanging thick on the few words. Chancing a glance up to him, the nerves that were eating away at him were clearly evident just below the surface of his stony exterior. Why was he even nervous? Wasn't this essentially just a continuation of what had always been the norm for his life? Or was he, rather, nervous about trusting _me_ with this secret? "I have to start work tomorrow at the police agency. You want me to miss my first days as a detective just because you're nervous?"

His look hardened on the plate, though his gray eyes finally slid up to meet my own as though he was suddenly more confident in his ability to hide his thoughts from me. As if it were really that simple. "You can't say you're not."

I shrugged, pushing away the unread newspaper, "It doesn't matter if I am or not. Our real life together starts today. Whether we like it or not that's just how it is."

His eyes remained trained on me, each second we watched each other seemed to be one more secret he allowed himself to silently reveal to me. Though, the one which finally bubbled to the surface was: "Do you think we're ready?"

"I don't see why we wouldn't be. Especially if we limit the amount of time we spend out in public together. You're already pretty good at that, so…" My words trailed off, but the evolving smirk I could feel growing across my lips hinted at the teasing undertones. I had had to essentially chase him across the city just to get one dance with him years ago. I could only imagine the lengths anyone else would have to go to in order to get anything deeper out of him. And despite how his reclusive nature had irritated me to no end before we were married, now, it felt like our greatest security. I continued speaking, though, before he could comment, "Speaking of not going out, what are you going to do every day, anyway?"

Near shrugged, finally chancing a small bite of his otherwise untouched breakfast. "The same thing I always do, I suppose." His look shifted to one more playful, "If you bring me cases home then I could always help you solve them."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the mere mention of such a naïve notion. Just because he was the son of a great detective didn't necessarily predicate that he himself would harbor the same skill. There was, after all, a big difference between merely reading case files and actually qualifying to be a detective in the first place.

"Not a chance. If I bring work home, you're not to touch it. Someday I'm going to take over the districts for both of our fathers and I fully intend on earning that position based on my own effort." Sure, the arrangement of our marriage had been designed to lead to my eventually take over of their districts as it made me family to both sides in power, but I didn't want it to be handed to me for such a superficial reason. I wanted to _earn_ it. I wanted to know that I _deserved_ it more than it was just because of who I was tied to.

Near shrugged, the corner of his lips ticking upward, immediately a bit crestfallen. "Whatever you say… Though, I will say that even with my assistance whatever happens would still be _your_ work. I'm merely propositioning a sort of… partnership of abilities."

"Call it whatever you want, the answer is still no." Perhaps it was the slight edge of disheartenment evident from his side of the table that suddenly made me tack onto the end, "Why don't you focus on something else more important? What if you choose the staff that'll work in our house, instead? Considering the circumstances, it seems only fair that you should get most of the say. That should keep you busy for a while."

Near regarded the proposition momentarily before he finally nodded, "Sure, I can do that. Though, I already have a good idea who to choose, so such a task shouldn't take too long at all." The smile that evolved across his features seemed somehow almost sly, but I couldn't bring myself to question the matter. If the task kept him busy and out of my cases, then that's all that really mattered at the moment.

After all, I needed time… time to sort through things and feel as though I was getting my life back in order, or at least regain some semblance of understanding of what it was I was dealing with, and _why._ In this moment, of course beginning my career was of the utmost importance to focus on, yet there existed a thin thread tied tightly to that, leading off into a bleak void that seemed to pull me towards it by the throat. Just thinking of how much _he_ had manipulated matters to essentially steal my life away made my grip on my fork tighten till I swore I would bend the metal itself.

I finally sighed, putting the fork down and sliding the plate away. In time… All in good time.

I reached between us with my hand open, palm facing upwards on the table, "Ready?" I posed, brow lifting momentarily. The situation we were about to face in many ways felt like a challenge to be endured and conquered, and in that case, if Near was going to allow his nerves to bubble to the surface for the world to bear witness to, then it fell onto me to be the solid exterior of confidence for the both of us. After all, that's what partners were supposed to do for one another, right?

He nodded, taking my hand, "As ready as we'll ever be."

I squeezed his hand, tugging him up from the table so as to prepare to leave this place; what had been our temporary escape from reality to instead enter the real stage, and the real challenge. As much as I hated the mere thought of it, and as much as I still felt I had been robbed of a proper life, _this_ was my life now and it wouldn't do to screw it up and risk making things worse for either of us.

We were in this together. And together we would have to find a way to make this work.

-:-

The atmosphere within the police agency when I walked in the next morning felt like an organized chaos of hustle and bustle. This alone was nothing new, as that was exactly how I remembered it from the days Light had brought me here as a child, yet at the same time the entire facility felt new as the subtleties hit me in a way I'd never bothered to take in before now. Each minute detail seemed to stand out like a blaring signal demanding my attention, from the ever present smell of tea and ink, to the chatter of people and movement of paper being transported from one desk and one person to another. It all existed in such a way as to keep the blood fueling within the very system itself without complication.

One day, this would be _my_ agency. This would be _my_ ship to keep alive and on its proper course.

But for now my position was merely another gear in a much larger system; just another new detective out to investigate into the crimes of the north district of London to help bring justice to the many.

It was exhilarating and as I stepped further into the police agency I couldn't help letting my thoughts run from me, contemplating what I would be given as my first case. Perhaps there was a complicated murder case I could take up. Something big enough that would help establish my name for any other reason than because I was Light's son.

Yes, a murder case would be a good stepping stone to making my own path in the agency.

Crossing the space to where Light's office was, and had always been, I pushed the slightly ajar further open only after giving a slight knock on the wood and waiting for the affirmation from inside. His office was dimmer than the rest of the agency, his neatly organized dark wood desk positioned opposite of the door with two chairs in front of it. Behind where he sat penning something on paper was a large bookshelf lining the back wall, every shelf covered with books that tugged at my memories, to when I had been a child and he'd let me look through them. Back then, I had had had no comprehension of the legal code written on each page, yet still I was able to feel that they were important. Their very presence exuded power. Like a physical display of all that existed within Light's own mind.

He looked up as I entered, a smile immediately plastering itself on his features. At once he closed the file, leaning back in his chair, "Welcome back. How was your honeymoon?"

I shut the door behind me before entering further into the office and taking a seat in one of the chairs; the entire time my gaze remained anywhere but him. If I ever wanted to get out of this marriage… if I ever wanted his help gaining true freedom from this trap, then this could very well be my only shot. But as I finally looked across the desk and up into his brown eyes shining back at me with what I could only describe as _pride_ , I felt at a loss of words. How could I bring such a reality upon him when the entire world, _his_ entire world… the thing he loved more than even his own family would be entirely destroyed by such news? Could I really be so selfish as to destroy _his_ world just for my own sake?

"It was… certainly eventful to say the least." I finally replied quietly, looking away from him.

He nodded, "That's good." He ran a hand through his hair, "Your mother is already talking about grandchildren, you know."

My heart stopped in my chest. _Children_? What was I supposed to say to _that_? No, what was I supposed to _do_ about that? Of course such a matter would be on the table… of _course_ people would start to question me after a while if we didn't come forward with a happy little announcement. I swallowed, adding _children_ to the top of the list of matters that needed to be handled in order to ensure this ruse stayed properly handled.

I shook my head, both to clear my mind and that comment. "I don't know if I'd go that far." I said almost under my breath. "Anyway, I'm just here about starting work."

Light nodded, his fingers interlocking together on the surface of the desk. "Of course. Today is the day you start down your career path; what you were meant to do." He pulled open a drawer in his desk, rifling through it. Though as he did so all I couldn't help questioning the matter entirely. Was this really what I was meant to do? detective work was in my blood. But as for this _situation_. Was being married to Near, a male, really my fated path? What god could I have possibly angered to the point of being given this destiny?

A file was pulled out of the drawer. Laying it on top of the one he'd previously been working on he opened it and began reading the information inside, "Yes, this will be your first case for us here. It's actually quite an interesting one, honestly." His voice trailed off momentarily, eyes narrowing on the words as he considered something I couldn't quite read. There was something more to whatever he was about to give me. "I picked this case especially for you." Brown eyes finally shot up to me as though to ensure I was listening, but lingered as he said, "There's a case of serial arson going on in the southern district."

A case in the southern district of London? An _arson_ case?!

"If this is happening in the southern part of the city then why not just let L and his people deal with it. It's their territory, after all." I pointed out trying not to let my immediate disappointment resonate through my words though feeling myself failing. How was I supposed to prove myself with an _arson_ case? "Besides, just because there are numerous fires doesn't warrant it being classified as serial arson."

Light's look hardened on me as though momentarily disappointed before he began to say, "Don't jump to conclusions, Mihael. Four buildings have been burned to the ground. All of the people affected by it were living in the southern part of the city, but they were all originally from the north, which is why we're working on it and not L's people. Other than that connection, we know this is a serial case because of the letters."

My brow pulled together in confusion, "Letters?"

He nodded, "Yes, letters. At each scene we've found a different letter painted in blood onto the cement outside the building. Four fires, four letters. What we have right now is: 'G E T M'."

' _Blood?'_ I wondered, finding myself slowly becoming enraptured by Light's words. "The victims'?"

He shook his head, "Nobody's been killed from the houses of the victims that were affected."

Immediately my eyes rolled, looking away from him. _'Great, it's not even a murder case by proxy…'_

Of course he picked up on my thoughts, though, his fingers folding together on the tabletop again after closing the folder, "You are just starting out, Mihael. You can't expect to be given the big murder cases right off the bat. Just because you and I are related doesn't mean I'm not going to make you climb the hierarchical ladder any different than I would anyone else."

"Yeah, I get it." I said almost under my breath and through clenched teeth. I had wanted something big… something I could actually prove myself with and get recognition for my skills. Not _this_. Not some petty arson crime from someone who couldn't properly control a set of matches.

Regardless, I stood up, taking the folder when Light offered it out to me, his gaze locking on me knowingly, more than likely feeling my frustration permeating the air itself. "Don't be disappointed. This is a good, probably easy case for you to start out with. After you get some experience I'll give you the bigger cases."

I nodded, "Right." His words didn't make the disappointment sting any less. It felt as though if I allowed myself to say anymore to him then I would be at risk of saying _too much_. Sure, I was let down, but I couldn't let that take over potentially ruin the opportunity I _had_ been handed.

"Why not take that friend of yours, Matt, and go interview the victims? He was made your official partner in the agency now, after all." Light offered just as I turned to exit his office.

I couldn't help stopping and turning to look over my shoulder, "I _know_ what I'm doing." If he wanted me to prove myself then he'd be better off just letting me do my job without trying to guide my every action. Any more and I _would_ start questioning whether he even thought me capable. But if he didn't think I could do this then he wouldn't have brought me in at all. Right?

Exiting out of his office sent me back into the steady hustle of the agency, but it all seemed utterly nonexistent as I crossed through the open floorplan, ignoring everyone who passed by me and even those few who tried to stop me, more than likely wanting to talk about the wedding and honeymoon.

They were my coworkers now, and sure they were just trying to be _nice._ But it felt as though if I had to say one word to any of them I would absolutely explode, questioning them about why it was that _I_ couldn't ever get what I wanted. Everyone else got everything they wanted at my expense. Light got his unity through _my_ marriage. Near got to continue his usual mundane life, whatever _that_ entailed while _I_ dealt with our perception by the outside world. And now the one simple thing I wanted… even that had been taken out of my grasp. Why was it that I had to be the one continuously screwed over at every perceivable opportunity? Hell, even L got what he wanted through-

I stopped. _'That's it.'_

I _did_ still have that one matter that needed tending to; the alluringly mysterious void lingering just off to the side of my path. Sure, it may not entirely fix the situations that had been thrown my way, but if I could just get some understanding, some clarity, some god damn peace of mind about this entire thing.

I had just reached my new desk when I had stopped, my attention finally coming back to reality as I noticed Matt looking up at me from where he sat at the desk positioned next to mine, "Mello?" He questioned slowly, "You alright?"

I shook my head to rid myself of the agitation that had previously been bubbling up to the surface and searching for even the slightest flame to set it off. "I'm fine." I said, turning on my heels to head back to the entrance. "Light gave us a case to work on. I'll give you the details later."

I could feel his confused look following me, "Wait, what? What's going on, where are you going now? Should I come with you?" In some ways his confusion was accurately placed. After all, shouldn't I be looking over what the case notes in my hand said first? Shouldn't I be evaluating the situation before charging headfirst into my own personal affairs. Maybe. But right now the case would just have to wait.

I only looked briefly over my shoulder to him before continuing on my way, "No, I need to go. I have to talk to L."

* * *

A/N: Let me paint a scene for you. Over the summer I attended a seven-day retreat at the monastery I stayed at. You meditate essentially for 18 hours a day every day. You are not allowed to read, write or speak. Your mind is to be focused entirely on your method of meditative practice. I tell you this to tell you all that I spent my entire seven-day retreat planning ten chapters of this fic, even going so far as to hide into bathrooms so I could write down the outline, complete with quotes and all. Which means that from this chapter on we begin to get into the real plot and development of this story, and if all goes well, in my opinion it is poised to be fantastic. So, I hope that you will continue reading, commenting, sharing this fic, and just generally joining me on the journey that will be this story! And of course, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!

Please review  
 _-Forbiddensoul562_


	6. Fool the World

Orchestration

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimer

* * *

Chapter 6: Fool the World

I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to say when I saw L, only that it _needed_ to be said. In the very least I needed some kind of understanding into why I needed to be wrapped up in this kind of scheme. I needed to hear it from the source, from the one who had organized this entire arrangement from the start.

I had let all the questions fester within me for the week of our honeymoon, trying to find my own answers and justifications. Of course Near had offered me answers to some matters, such as what the reasoning had been. But I didn't understand the _why_ … the human side behind it all. What drove a person to damn not only a stranger but their own child to this kind of fate? Even now the questions bubbled ever closer to my surface as I crossed the city and planned out exactly what I would say to L the moment I saw him. Each sentence I constructed was met by the narration of my own thoughts offering me an idea of what L could possibly say in response. But no matter what my thoughts conjured up, it just wouldn't be as good as the real thing.

After a long carriage ride I finally entered into the central agency of the southern part of London, where L's headquarters was. The inside was surprisingly quiet, an almost jarring difference between the agency I had just left. Where in ours, agents and detectives were in conversation with one another about where to go with their own cases, here the members kept to themselves without much interaction between each other.

A desk was positioned by the front entrance, where behind it an elderly man sat reading over some papers while a still steaming cup of tea sat on the corner of his desk. He looked up through his glasses at me as I moved over to his desk and asked, "Do you know where I can find L?"

The older man offered no immediate verbal response, instead allowing his gaze to travel over me as though to gauge just who I was to be asking for someone like L. I couldn't help wondering if he knew who I was… but how could he? "Do you have an appointment?" He finally asked.

"No." I said carefully as my brow screwed together in confusion. Was this L's assistant or something?

He put down the paper he'd been reading to instead pull out a calendar from inside the desk, "You'll need to make one, then. I believe he has an opening next month…"

I shook my head, stepping forward and daring to put my hands flat on the top of his desk. "No, I want to see him _now_." His lips parted to respond, but before he could get anything out I spoke up instead, my words coming out slower and firmer than before. "If you have to, go tell him he has _family_ here to see him."

The older man's gaze traveled over me once more before he finally said, "I see." He then stood up from the desk, rounding it before adding, "Please, follow me. He's been expecting you."

Expecting me?

Of course… After subjecting me to this kind of setup, obviously he'd assume I would want to have a word with him. Sure, on the surface it wasn't entirely surprising, but that did little to quell the feeling of being utterly strung along from the beginning.

The older man led the way through the building, past all the diligent workers to the back of the building where the main offices sat with their doors closed. "You can go on in." He said as he came to stand beside the door.

I nodded, eyeing him momentarily before proceeding inside the waiting office. The inside of the space was darkened, the windows partially covered by curtains while the floor was doted by stacks of books around the entire area. Across the room sat L behind his desk, his tie loosened around his neck and his legs pulled up close to his chest as he carefully stacked cubes of sugar on an empty plate rather than depositing them in the cup of tea sitting beside it.

"Good afternoon, Mello." He said in a quiet, confident tone. Dark eyes, shadowed in part by the unkempt locks of his dark hair glanced up then to rest on me. His expression hardly changed, yet even from across the room I could see the gears working behind them. It felt as though he was reading straight through me, and in that moment I suddenly wondered if this had been the best idea… "No need to be surprised. Only someone in such a position as yours would dare to be as forward as to walk into my office without having the decency to knock first."

"Right…" I said almost under my breath, proceeding forward to take a seat on the other side of his desk. I knew I should keep talking… I should spit any number of the questions or demands I had prepared on the way here. But something about being in his presence rendered me entirely speechless.

"I wondered when you might come by." He started after a moment of silence, adding another sugar cube to the top of the growing tower.

My jaw locked in place. Of _course_ he'd known I would come here. He'd been in on this secret since his son had been born and he had decided to contract him out to be married to me. I may have been planning what I would say to him since starting the venture over here, but surely L had been planning this conversation since the day Light agreed to the marriage. There was, and couldn't be any element of surprise to L when he had stacked the deck in his favor since the very beginning. That fact only added to my irritation.

"Why?" I asked, almost painfully quiet, with an edge of intensity that, had it been directed towards anyone else and under any other circumstances, I would have said edged on overstepping my own place within the apparent social hierarchy.

Dark eyes flicked back up to me momentarily, "We both _know_ why." The demeaning tone within his voice said that he didn't understand my question. Or perhaps he was merely toying with me… I wouldn't put it past him.

"You _know_ what I mean." I said, stressing each word so maybe he would have some sense of how much this had building within me.

He shrugged, "Do I?"

Of _course_ he did. He was definitely toying with me. "Then allow me to be a bit blunter. _Why_ did you do this? _Why_ would you marry off your son to me? _Why_ would you do this to not only my life, but to his as well?"

L's actions paused, his sight remaining entirely on the sugar cube held precariously between his fingers, "Now that is a much more interesting question." Again the gears behind those obsidian orbs worked, but over which question I couldn't entirely be sure. Though he continued before I could question it further. "I'm not entirely sure what your reasoning is for coming here. Surely you already _know_ the why behind at least the logistical side of these matters."

"I need to hear it from you."

His look flicked up to me, "You want the actual story."

"I want to know everything." I shot back.

L was quiet and I watched as his fingers moved, dropping a single sugar cube into his cup, causing some of the dark liquid to splash over the side. He hardly seemed to care. "You can imagine how difficult it used to be to conduct business, in our line of work, when we don't have access to the entirety of the board that the game is being played on." He began, repeating the process of dropping another sugar cube into his tea. "I had been wanting to form an alliance with Light for a long time. After all, unity works to both of our benefits. He would get to chase and capture the criminals he wants, and I get mine. It's better for the justice system this way."

He paused, inhaling a deep breath, "I offered him a lot of things, but in the end the only way to make your father trust me enough to make such an agreement was through a marital deal. In the end, that's just how he is." He offered a small, fond smile. Though it soon faded as he continued, "But then Near was born."

His motions continued, but more it seemed as though his entire being was transported back into his memory, "My wife died giving birth to Near. And so he was all I had. At the time I was chasing a horrendous criminal who clearly wanted my attention but not enough to let himself get caught. I couldn't allow my chances at an alliance, at finally catching him, be foiled merely because of the sex of my child."

He looked up to me, pausing only long enough to gauge my response thus far, yet I had no idea what I was letting him see. Finally, he continued, "It wasn't too difficult of work to have the documents changed and people involved with his birth bought off or done away with. The new reality you see before you, embodied in him, is a murky complication to whatever vision you had had for yourself, but it is the only way that true justice could ever be carried out."

I shook my head, finally saying, "It doesn't have to be this way. I don't have to put up with your deception. I could come clean and tell everyone what you've done."

L nodded, after the fourth sugar cube he lifted the cup of tea to his lips, sipping a bit before putting it back down and adding another… then another, "I understand that you're new to this, Mello, but do you have any idea just how many crimes occur in this city every day? Do you know how many of those go without ever being solved? It would be a shame if you were found at the scene of one of those crimes, wouldn't it?" He gently tsked, "And on top of the homosexuality charge you would surely find placed against yourself, as well. What an unfortunate situation that would be."

My hands gripped the arms of the chair tightly, internally questioning whether or not he was serious. But on the other hand… did I really want to test the lead detective of half of the entire city?

He continued before I could respond, "Besides…" he took another sip of his tea, "Light would be _so_ disappointed, you know."

"Don't go there."

There was a spark present in his gaze as he looked across the desk at me, almost seeming to challenge me to come clean, to admit what was actually happening in my marriage. "Not to mention the fact that you've already waited _this long_ to turn that fact into him, or should I say to burn down his empire sooner. Well, I would say that under that light it almost sounds like you _humored_ the idea of staying with a male. What would he think of that?"

What _would_ Light think of that? He would be angry… not just with the fact that, as L said, the empire he had helped to create, his _legacy_ , was being destroyed, but also because I would be tarnishing his image, and his good name in the process. Of course those factors would be the most important to him, not the fact that otherwise I would be stuck with Near for the rest of my life… It was all about outer image to him. I _hated_ him for that in that moment.

But I hated more that I could do nothing but follow along that same trend.

"Let me ask you this," L continued, bringing me back to the situation at hand rather than my own inner considerations of what might happen if I did search and desperately grasp at my own freedom. "What, pray tell, would you have done had your fiancée turned out to be utterly dull? What if your new wife was just another woman who favors nothing more than spending money and gossiping with others? Compared to that, I'd say at least this situation is a bit more interesting of a life to lead."

I shook my head, "It's not a matter of being _interesting_. This is _my_ _life_ that I have to live, now. You've forced not only me, but your own child into a situation neither of us asked for just to further your own agenda. You've effectively ruined both of our lives and you dare to call that _interesting?_ "

L rolled his eyes, sighing heavily before he looked back over to me, "Ruined? Mello, you truly don't understand what it means to be a parent. Why would I settle for giving my son half of the world when I could easily give him the entire thing?"

"Because he didn't get a choice."

"We so rarely ever do."

A thick silence permeated the space between us, both of our stares locked together as we gauged one another, ultimately asking the same question: What was I going to do? What _could_ I do?

L seemed more than willing to answer that question for me. "The fact of the matter, Mello, is you're not going to go public. You're not going to tell Light."

"Aren't I?"

"No, you won't, because you're smart enough to know that if you do that then I _will_ destroy you. I have eyes and ears around this entire city that can make sure of that. But I don't _need_ to threaten you to keep your silence. No. I think you already know that the pros of the situation greatly outweigh whatever it is you perceive you're giving up by staying with Near. So really I think it comes down to a simple question: just how far are you willing to go in order to not only keep this secret and make it believable to the outside world?"

Talking to L felt like talking to Near… though of course I suppose that much wasn't surprising as they were not only cut from the same cloth, but Near had had a lifetime to be indoctrinated into what his life would end up being. Such perfect clarity… I envied their ability to see the situation in such rational terms. Was I truly the only one who had an issue with being robbed of the chance of having a normal life?

And yet L's words made me wonder… how far _was_ I willing to go?

As he said, I was essentially stuck in this position now, for if I brought it to Light then not only would he be furious for any number of reasons, but I shuddered to imagine what kind of repercussions L would enact against me… So what else could I do?

"It's a game, Mello." He said, quieter. "How well will you play it to fool the entire world?"

"I don't want to fool the world." My own tone was quieter than I had meant it to be.

"Yes you do. Even if you don't know it. _Everyone_ is out to fool to world. _Everyone_ has that piece of themselves they hide -to convince everyone else they're something they're not. Everybody lies." His eyes bore directly into me until it felt that he and I were suddenly the only people that existed on the face of the planet. "The question becomes how well can you pull it off? Will you just be part of the dull, common rabble who are so easy to read through? I should hope not. After all, your audience will take much more convincing than that."

"No." I stood up suddenly, his incessant questions fueling a new fire in my veins.

His eyes followed me, a small smile breaking his otherwise indifferent features, "I didn't think so."

This was what he wanted… I was doing nothing more than playing into his game, and we both _knew_ it. But what else could I do? We both knew that I would remain locked into this contract the moment I even stepped into his office. And yet somehow I couldn't help feeling played, as though by coming here, by giving him the time of day to speak and tell me his side I had done nothing but give him what he wanted.

"I have to go." I muttered almost under my breath, turning to leave.

"Good luck, Mello. I have high hopes for you." His voice called after, almost playing with the fact that he had such a power over me.

I said nothing as I exited, because realistically what else _could_ I say? There was no hope of bringing this back into my favor right now… Not while he held all the cards. The more I fought against him, against _both_ of them, the more it felt like I was merely getting caught within my own knots rather than using them to ensnare the rest of the world. My only hope now, it seemed, was that perhaps if I abided by the course he had set Near and I both on, then I could take the control for myself and construct, not entirely the life I had always imagined I would have, but a better version of it. Something… more interesting, even.

Damn him.

From L's office I took a carriage home, instructing the driver that there was no need to rush. After all, I needed the extra time… to consider all L had said to me, to think over where I would go from here, to plot just what steps would be necessary to spin the game back into my favor.

Sure, I was angry, but ultimately it was Near and myself against the entire world. The only other person privy to this secret was L, and he had made it abundantly clear that where we proceeded from here was ultimately on my shoulders. He had nurtured this secret for the past twenty years to be able to pass it off onto me.

I felt a heavy weight grow in my stomach… exhaling a heavy breath as I let my eyes close, _'Near and I need to be a team.'_ I told myself despite how insurmountable the feat sounded. _'We can't just be a normal image for the rest of the world. We need to construct the best image possible, to leave absolutely no doubt to anyone that this is anything more than what it appears on the surface.'_ But the way to go about that… Even I could hardly let myself rest upon the ultimate conclusion.

Upon finally reaching our new home, a simple townhouse situated in a nicer district of the northern part of the city, I entered the front door, going to the left, to a simple sitting area where Near had set himself up at the window reading. He looked up as I entered, "How was your first day?" He asked, marking his place in the book with his finger as he closed it to give me his attention.

I inhaled a deep breath, the words seeming to immediately tumble from my lips, "I'm bringing in another woman."

* * *

A/N: Well, that was quite a jump, Mello. How is Near going to respond to that claim? In any case, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I always really love writing L, the few chances I ever get to, but he is so difficult too. So, hopefully his characterization here isn't too horrendous. I can't promise that there will be an update on this fic next week, as I may have something special for you all instead, but regardless, I would love to hear any thoughts you have on this chapter!

Please review  
 _-Forbiddensoul562_


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